As The Tongue Wags
by Michelle (KK)

Pay attention, and listen to the words of the wise; apply your heart to my knowledge; for it is pleasant to keep them deep within you; have all of them ready on your lips.  I want your trust to be in Yehovah; this is why I'm instructing you about them today.  I have written you worthwhile things full of good counsel and knowledge, so you will know that these sayings are certainly true and bring back true sayings to him who sent you.

Pay attention, listen and learn from with words of the wise.  Boy, I would love to take credit for that little blurb there.  However, I can't.  I certainly can't call myself wise, there are many smarter and wiser than I, and why would you apply your heart to MY knowledge?  No, however badly I may want to say that came from me, it didn't.  It is a quote from Proverbs (Mishlei) 22:17-21.  Yet, there is truth there ... I DO want your trust to be in Yehovah, that is why I am doing this study.  I didn't have to tell you where the quote came from; I could have let you think that it truly was my very own. 

*GASP*  But that would be DISHONEST!!!!

That's the whole point of this study.  Not dishonesty per se, but everything that our mouths can do, the good, the bad, the ugly. 

Proverbs (Mishlei) 6:16-19 - (16) There are six things Yehovah hates, seven which he detests; (17) a haughty look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, (18) a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet swift in running to do evil, (19) a false witness who lies with every breath, and him who sows strife among brothers.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 18:21 - The tongue has power over life and death; those who indulge it must eat its fruit.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 18:7-8 - (7) A fool's mouth is his ruin; his words are a trap for him. (8) A slanderer's words are tasty morsels; they slide right down into the belly.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 13:3 - He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but one who talks too much comes to ruin.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 13:5 - A righteous person hates lying, but the wicked is vile and disgraceful.

Psalms (Tehillim) 50:23 - Whoever offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice honors me; and to him who goes the right way I will show the salvation of God.

The tongue is the most versatile organ in our body.  The tongue is our protector. It registers revulsion when food is spoiled or poisonous.  Many deadly toxins are bitter, and the tongue is the detector that tells the body to spit it out.  Just watch any baby in a high chair when you give it something bitter, or even just anything new that the tongue has never tasted before.  It comes out faster than you can scoop it back in.

Our tongue also helps us to speak.  This, for most of us, is where we tend to get into trouble.  We damage not only ourselves, but others as well.  In this study I would like to focus on some ways in which we use our tongues in the wrong way, and how we can use our tongues in the right way. 

The first thing I want us to look at is a subject that all of us, no matter who we are, are familiar with.  We have all, at some point in our lives, lied and been lied to.  None of us are immune to this most basic of all subjects regarding the tongue, lying.

It starts when we are kids.  Why we do it then can be for several reasons, none of which make them right.  The reasons can vary from testing the limits that our parents set down for us; to fear of punishment; to peer pressure; to trying to get out of our chores. 

As we grow into adulthood, our reasons for lying change.  We no longer fear (and respect!) the punishment that our parents would have given us for lying.  Instead, now we lie to our bosses to cover up the fact that we have not done our job the way we were expected to; we lie to our bosses to take a day off of work when we just don't feel like working that day (you know, the old “*cough, cough* I'm too sick to come in to work today” excuse); we lie to our family about not being able to come for a family/holiday get-together, because we really just can't be bothered with going over to see poor old Aunt Mary and Uncle Fred, and although Gramma is on her last legs, we just don't like the way she smells ... all kinds of excuses.  Excuses given for reasons.  Reasons that don't exist, other than the fact that we just can't be bothered.

Pretty selfish, huh?  That's exactly what a lie is.  Selfish.  We lie to gain control over someone, something, a situation, whatever; we lie to make ourselves “feel” better (yeah, like a lie is actually gonna do that); we lie to “one up” someone else, to feel like you are bigger or better than they are; we lie to get a better paying job (Sure, I know how to use that machine - even though I have never seen it before in my life). Whatever it is, we lie to gain something. Only problem is, whatever it is we think that we gain, we don't - instead, we lose.  And we lose a lot more than what we might otherwise think.

Let's take a look at some of the people in the Scriptures, and what happened when they lied.

Let's go all the way back to Gan 'Eden.  Back to the first recorded lie in the Scriptures.  In B'resheet (Genesis) 3 we read: (1) Now the serpent was more crafty than any wild animal which Yehovah, God, had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, 'You are not to eat from any tree in the garden'?” (2) The woman answered the serpent, “We may eat from the fruit of the trees of the garden, (3) but the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden God said, 'You are neither to eat from it nor touch it, or you will die.”

Now, I have heard that this is the first instance of putting a 'fence' around Torah.  What it is, is a lie.  And the best lie contains a kernel of truth in it to make it believable.  This is what Yehovah actually said in chapter 2:15-17:  (15) Yehovah, God, took the person and put him in the garden of ' Eden to cultivate and care for it.  (16) Yehovah, God, gave the person this order: “You may freely eat from every tree in the garden (17) except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. You are not to eat from it, because on the day that you eat from it, it will become certain that you will die.” 

We don't know the reason(s) why Havah lied.  We don't know if Adam told Havah not to eat the fruit or touch the tree (if so, that would make him the first liar, not Havah); we don't know if she made up the 'rule' of not to touch the tree, to prevent the fruit from being eaten accidentally.  The reason why she said what she did is not recorded. We do know, however, that Adam was with her at the time, and he did not say anything to correct her (verse 6 says that “She also gave some to her husband, who was with her”). 

Yet because the woman, Havah, lied to the serpent, it was easier for the serpent to then convince her that what Yehovah had said was a lie (which we know it wasn't) and we all know what happened after that.  They got sent out of Gan 'Eden to make their way in the world. A self serving lie got humanity banished from the Garden that Yehovah had intended us to keep.

Let me say that again.  Because Havah lied to the serpent, it was easier for the serpent to convince her of a lie as well.  Does that make sense?  Think about it.  Being dishonest, even slightly, and perhaps even with the best of intentions, still leaves you open and vulnerable to other deceits. 

The next recorded lie comes very soon after being sent out of the Garden.  You would have thought they would have learned, right?  Wrong.  In chapter 4 Havah has two sons, Kayin and Hevel.  Hevel kept sheep, while Kayin worked the soil.  In time, they brought offerings to Yehovah; Kayin of the produce of the soil and Hevel the firstborn of his sheep.  Hevel's offering was accepted, while Kayin's was not.  Kayin grew “very angry, and his face fell” (verse 5).  Yehovah talks to him about it, but it obviously went in one ear and out the other, as we see in verse 8, “Kayin had words with Hevel his brother; then one time, when they were in the field, Kayin turned on Hevel his brother and killed him”. 

A crime of passion, of anger... which leads to a lie: (9) Yehovah said to Kayin, “Where is Hevel your brother?” And he replied, “I don't know; am I my brother's guardian?”  Why did Kayin lie? To cover up his crime? Fear of retribution? Whatever the case may be, because of his crime, Kayin was punished, banned from the land and (as he says to Yehovah in verse 14) from the very presence of Yehovah.  His lie did him no good.  Lies rarely, if ever, do.

From a self serving lie to a lie of defiance, in less than a generation. 

We should remember what it says in Proverbs (Mishlei) 12:22 - Lying lips are an abomination to Yehovah, but those who deal faithfully are his delight.

Let's take a moment to look at Ya'akov.  First, he cheats 'Esav out of his birthright in Genesis (B'resheet) 25:29-34 - One day when Ya'akov had cooked some stew, 'Esav came in from the open country, exhausted, (30) and said to Ya'akov, “Please! Let me gulp down some of that red stuff - that red stuff! I'm exhausted!” (This is why he was called Edom [red]).  (31) Ya'akov answered, “ First sell me your rights as the firstborn.”  (32) “Look, I'm about to die!” said 'Esav.  “What use to me are my rights as the firstborn?”  (33) Ya'akov said, “First, swear to me!” So he swore to him, thus selling his birthright to Ya'akov. (34) Then Ya'akov gave him bread and lentil stew; he ate and drank, got up and went on his way. Thus 'Esav showed how little he valued his birthright.

Let's stop to look at this for a moment - Ya'akov seems to have been a very tricky fella.  I mean, come on, a planned dinner, that smells oh so good, especially when you know someone is tired and hungry and probably not thinking too clearly - what better way, and what better timing, than this, to get what you want?

He continues to cheat 'Esav with a lie, with the help of his mother, Rivkah, in chapter 27.  She has Ya'akov bring her some game, so that she could make it the way Yitz'chak liked it, because he had specifically asked 'Esav to go and get him some game, and he would bless him.  Ya'akov comes to his father, wearing 'Esav's best clothes, and goat skins on his hands and neck ('Esav was a very hairy man), and proceeds to lie to his father Yitz'chak, knowing his father was almost blind and could be easily fooled.  He lies to his father and says that he is 'Esav returned from hunting as Yitz'chak had asked, and had come for his blessing.  He could have used a professional wrestler, Eddie Guerrero's theme song: I lie, I cheat, I steal. 

Lying may have gotten him his father's blessing, but it alienated him from his brother for many, many years. 

Yehovah says in Jeremiah (Yirmeyahu) 9:4-9 - (4) Everyone, be on guard against your neighbor, don't trust even a brother; for every brother is out to trick you, and every neighbor goes around gossiping. (5) Everyone deceives his neighbor, no one speaks the truth; they have taught their tongues to lie, they wear themselves out with sinning. (6) You inhabit a world of deceit; deceitfully they refuse to know me, says Yehovah. (7) Therefore, says Yehovah-Tzva'ot, I will refine them and test them. What else can I do with the daughter of my people? (8) Their tongues are sharpened arrows; with their mouths they speak deceit - they say nice words to their neighbors, while inwardly plotting against them. (9) Should I not punish them for these things? asks Yehovah. Should I not take vengeance on such a nation?

Gossip does as much damage, if not more, than a lie.  Gossip doesn't have to be true; in fact, the more blatant lies are in it, the better it sounds!  As it says in Proverbs (Mishlei) 20:19 - A gossip goes around revealing secrets, so don't get involved with a talkative person.

“Hey, Katherine, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, Grace, what's up?”

“I just feel terrible.”

“What's wrong?” 

“Well, you have to promise me that you won't say anything, first.”

“Of course I won't say anything, who do you take me for?” 

“All right.  I had a terrible argument with my husband last night, over money, as usual. I started questioning him and, quite frankly, was rather mean to him, because I found a large withdrawal slip in his pocket as I was doing the laundry ... turns out, he wanted to surprise me with a nice dinner, big bouquet of roses and a diamond ring for our anniversary. I just feel terrible about the way I treated him when he was trying to be so nice to me.  Now I think we may be getting a divorce because of it!”

(An hour goes by.  Alone at last, Katherine rushes to the nearest telephone...)

“Hello, Barbara? You won't believe what Grace just told me! She said that her husband Greg beat her up so bad she had to go to the emergency room, and now they are getting a divorce because of it!” ... 

Stay tuned for the next episode of: As The Tongue Wags ...

Of course that was just an exaggeration.  Although, at times, it seems like that is exactly what happens.  As Proverbs (Mishlei) 16:27-28 says - (27) A worthless person digs up evil [gossip] - it is like scorching fire on his lips. (28) A deceitful person stirs up strife, and a slanderer can separate even close friends.

Leviticus (Vayikra) 19:16 says “Do not go around spreading slander among your people”, yet Ezekiel (Yechezk'el) 22:9 says that the people gossiped to the point of inciting bloodshed.  And it still goes on today, all these hundreds and thousands of years later.  If you want proof, just go to your nearest supermarket check out stand and look at all the tabloids there.

Harsh words said in anger (or when we are in pain or generally just not feeling well), is another way that our tongues wound others.  This one, unfortunately, stands glaring in my face as I talk to you.  I have first hand experience with this one, and my family, unfortunately, bears the brunt of my tongue.  I am currently disabled and in a LOT of pain at times, and when I hurt, I get very grouchy, and inadvertently end up hurting those that I love the most.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 17:27 - A knowledgeable person controls his tongue; a discerning person controls his temper.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 17:14 - Starting a fight is like letting water through [a dike] - better stop the quarrel before it gets worse.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 11:12 - He who belittles another lacks good sense, whereas a person of discernment stays silent.

One more way that I would like to talk about how our tongues can be used in the wrong way, is when we just let them go, running off at the mouth without a thought as to what we are saying or how our words spoken so thoughtlessly are hurting someone else.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 12:18 - Idle talk can pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise can heal.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 14:18 - Thoughtless people inherit folly, but the cautious are crowned with knowledge.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 18:6-7 - A fool's words get him into fights; yes, his mouth calls out for a beating. (7) A fool's mouth is his ruin; his words are a trap for him.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 18:13 - To answer someone before hearing them out is both stupid and embarrassing.

Our mouths do so much. Cause so much hurt.  Cause so much hate.  Cause so much disdain, distrust, and despair.  Our tongues can kill; remember one of the verses I began this study with:

Proverbs (Mishlei) 18:21 - The tongue has power over life and death; those who indulge it must eat its fruit.

Yet, at the same time, that same verse that carries with it a connotation of hopelessness, at the same time carries with it hope.  Yes, our tongues can kill - maybe not literally, but can wound someone to the point where they may even want to take their own life.  Yet, at the same time, that same tongue has the power to save a life, as well. 

Proverbs (Mishlei) 12:25 says that “Anxiety in a person's heart weighs him down, but a kind word cheers him up.”

We don't have to wound with our tongue.  We don't have to hurt someone else.  Instead, we can build them up.  Help them to better themselves.  Help someone to know that you love them and care about them.  We can tell others of the goodness of Yehovah and His Torah. 

Proverbs (Mishlei) 10:18-21 contrasts this quite well:

(18) He who covers up hate has lips that lie, and anyone who slanders is a fool. (19) When words are many, sin is not lacking; so he who controls his speech is wise. (20) The tongue of the righteous is like pure silver, but the mind of the wicked is worth little. (21) The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense.

Proverbs (Mishlei) also says in 12:14 - “One can be filled with good as the result of one's words, and one gets the reward one's deeds deserve.”

We are supposed to be a light to the nations, a kingdom of cohanim, a nation set apart.  When we lie, (and I have taught my children that a liar is also a thief - you steal not only the truth from the person you lie to, but their trust in you as well), when we gossip, or slander, or any one of the many evils that we can do with our mouths, are we following what Yehovah has said?  Are we uplifting Him in any way?  Of course not.

Rather, instead of all of that garbage that our mouths can do, here is what we should be doing instead.  We should all know this, if we do not, we should learn it, and apply it to our lives.  It has some rather good advice contained within it.  What is it? It is the Sh'ma, and here it is in it's entirety:

Hear, Israel , Yehovah is our God, Yehovah is One. Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever.  And you shall love Yehovah your God with all your heart and with  all your soul  and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart. And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall  speak of  them when you sit at home, and when you walk along  the way, and when you lie  down and when you rise up.  And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be  for frontlets  between your eyes.  And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your  gates.  And it shall come to pass if you surely listen to the commandments that I command you today, to love Yehovah your God, and to serve  him with all your  heart and all your soul, That I will give rain to your land, the early and the late rains, that  you  may gather in your grain, your wine and your oil. And I will give grass in your fields for your cattle and you will  eat and you  will be satisfied.  Beware, lest your heart be deceived, and you turn and serve other  gods, and  worship them.  And anger of Yehovah will blaze against you, and he will close  the heavens and  there will not be rain, and the earth will  not give you its fullness, and  you will perish quickly from  the good land that Yehovah gives you. So you shall put these, my words, on your heart and on your soul; and you  shall bind them for signs on your hands, and they  shall be for frontlets between  your eyes. And you shall teach them to your children, and you shall speak of  them when  you sit in your house, and when you walk on the way,  and when you lie down, and  when you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your  gates. In order to prolong your days and the days of your children on the  land that Yehovah promised your fathers that he would give  them, as long as the days that  the heavens are over the earth.  And Yehovah spoke to Moses, saying... Speak to the children of Israel and say to them, they should  make themselves  tzitzit (fringes) on the corners of their clothing  throughout their  generations, and give the tzitzit of each  corner a techeilet, a thread of blue. And they shall be tzitzit for you, and when you look at them you  will remember  all of Yehovah's commandments and do them and  not follow after your heart and after your eyes, which lead  you astray.  In order to remember and do all My commandments, and be holy for  your God.  I am Yehovah, your God, who lead you from the land of Egypt to  be a god to  you. I am Yehovah, your God.

(I also have this whole thing in the Hebrew but for brevity's sake am only including the English version, as most of us here are primarily English speaking anyway, with little to no serviceable Hebrew; myself included. If anyone wants the Hebrew version, just ask me and I will be more than happy to get it to you.)

Instead of speaking death, we are to speak life.  We are to speak of all of Yehovah's mitzvot, all of Yehovah's teachings, all of the time.  From the time we wake up, till the time we go to sleep, and every minute in between.  No matter where we are or what we are doing, we are to speak of Him. 

Now, if we went around quoting Scripture non-stop and that is all that ever left our mouths, we would very quickly wind up in the nice room with the padded walls and the jacket with the sleeves on backwards.  That is not what is meant here.  Rather, what is meant is to use common sense (by the way, how come something that is so UN-common is called common?) and wisdom.  The first and foremost point of wisdom is the fear of Yehovah; all those living by it gain good common sense. (Psalms - Tehillim - 111:10).  Seems as if the two go hand in hand.

I am as guilty of all of the above as the rest of us are.  None of us are immune to the foot IN mouth disease (for some of us, its BOTH feet in mouth disease!).

Proverbs (Mishlei) 12:18-19 - (18) Idle talk can pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise can heal. (19) Truthful words will stand forever, lying speech but a moment.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 15:1-2 - (1) A gentle response deflects fury, but a harsh word makes tempers rise. (2) The tongue of the wise presents knowledge well, but the mouth of a fool spews out folly.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 15:4 - A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but when it twists things, it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs (Mishlei) 16:23-24 - (23) The wise man's heart teaches his mouth, and to his lips it adds learning. (24) Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the taste and healing for the body.

Now, I know that we are Karaites, and do not follow the Oral Law in any way.  However, if you will permit me, I have a story from Chabad.org titled the “Two Way Mouth” -  it is a Chassidic story, but I think it is fitting, so if you don't mind, I thought I would share it with you.  I hope you all will agree that this story does indeed fit very well into this teaching on the tongue.

The Two Way Mouth

As told by Yanki Tauber

-----------------------

One  day, Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov  instructed several of his disciples  to embark on a journey. The Baal Shem Tov  did not tell them where  to go, nor did they ask; they allowed divine providence  to direct  their wagon where it may, confident that the destination and purpose  of their trip would be revealed in due time.

After traveling  for several  hours, they stopped at a wayside inn to eat and rest.  Now the Baal Shem Tov's  disciples were pious Jews who insisted  on the highest standards of kashrut; when  they learned that their  host planned to serve them meat in their meal, they  asked to see  the shochet [1] of the house, interrogated him as to his knowledge  and piety and examined his knife for any possible blemishes. Their  discussion of  the kashrut standard of the food continued throughout  the meal, as they inquired  after the source of every ingredient  in each dish set before them.

As  they spoke and ate, a  voice emerged from behind the oven, where an old beggar  was resting  amidst his bundles. "Dear Jews," it called out, "are you as careful  with what comes out of your mouth as you are with what enters  into  it?"

The party of chassidim concluded their meal in  silence, climbed onto  their wagon and turned it back toward Mezhibuzh.  They now understood the purpose  for which their master had dispatched  them on their journey that  morning.

- Yanki Tauber  is content editor of  Chabad.org.

Footnotes:

1.  "Ritual  slaughterer"certified to slaughter  animals in accordance with  the Kosher dietary laws 

No matter where we are, no matter the circumstance, we can always find a way, a minute, to stop, reflect, and teach someone about Yehovah.  Whether this is from our actions, the way that we live and the way that we do things, or whether this is from our mouths, literally speaking and teaching about Yehovah, the effect is the same.  As I said at the beginning of this study,

Psalms (Tehillim) 50:23 - Whoever offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice honors me; and to him who goes the right way I will show the salvation of God.

The Torah of Yehovah is perfect, restoring the inner person. The instruction of Yehovah is sure, making wise the thoughtless. The precepts of Yehovah are right, rejoicing the heart. The mitzvah of Yehovah is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of Yehovah is clean, enduring forever. The rulings of Yehovah are true, they are righteous altogether, more desirable than gold, than much fine gold, also sweeter than honey or drippings from the honeycomb. Through them your servant is warmed; in obeying them there is great reward. ... May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable in your presence, Yehovah, my Rock and Redeemer. (Psalms - Tehillim - 19:7-11; 14)