PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO THE CULT AND MISSIONARY PROBLEM

"Steve" 

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO THE CULT AND MISSIONARY PROBLEM


The following questions and corresponding answers provide concrete
recommendations as to how to prevent missionaries from converting
Jews and how to counter missionary attempts which may have met with
some success.


QUESTION: Is there anything that Jews can do to "immunize" themselves
and their families against evangelists and cult recruiters?

ANSWER: As with so many facets of life, prevention begins at home. A
Jewish home should feel Jewish. Parents can set the tone through
their own positive example: by learning about Judaism and by
observing and understanding its customs and traditions in ways with
which they themselves are comfortable. A formal Jewish education is
necessary. Parents who cannot adequately answer the questions every
child asks about religion may unintentionally convey to their
youngsters the impression that such knowledge isn't particularly
important.

It is dangerous to give a child the impression that Judaism is a
religion of convenience that allows one to pick and choose one's
observances. This may leave the child with an impression that there
are no consequences for his or her religious actions and that Judaism
is both hypocritical and void of spiritual content.

Children model themselves after their parents, mirroring their
behavior and, frequently, their attitudes. A parent whose conduct
seems to proclaim, "Do as I say, not as I do," is inevitably placing
his or her child at a disadvantage.

Parents must maintain an open channel of communication with their
children, whether their sons or daughters are in elementary school,
high school or college, living on their own, or married. Ideally,
children should be able to discuss any issue with their parents.
Establishing such a venue for communication during children's
formative years will go a long way toward guaranteeing a lifetime of
non-judgmental dialogue with which to address the difficult
situations they may confront.

It is equally critical that parents both verbalize and demonstrate
their love for their children. I've counseled too many Jews who have
remarked, "My folks never cared about me anyway; why are they
bothering me now?"


QUESTION: How can a parent know whether his son or daughter is at
risk or under a missionary's influence?

ANSWER: Parents might discover pamphlets, New Testament tracts,
jewelry representing a particular group, or the Bible of a different
faith. Sometimes the son or daughter will give verbal clues,
like, "We need to be saved" or "I'm getting salvation so I won't go
to hell." Or the child may open a discussion by saying, "Did you know
that the 'New Testament' (or another book) says such and such?"

Just as parental intuition can detect the onset of a physical illness
before medical symptoms appear, it can frequently detect a spiritual
malady.

At times, the clue will be deeply buried between the lines: "Why
doesn't Judaism teach about life after death, or about heaven and
hell?" Here, parents must not only hear the embedded message, they
must also be capable of giving an effective answer.

When incapable or unsure of how to deal effectively with a conflict
over religion, parents may wish to discuss the problem with a rabbi.
This is probably the best course to pursue when confronted by a child
with questions like, "How do we know that Judaism is the "true'
religion?" However, keep in mind that not all rabbis are experienced
in dealing with the particular issues related to a cult or missionary
problem. It is therefore advisable to turn to experts in this field,
such as the specially trained staff of Jews for Judaism, who travel
throughout the world providing successful counseling services.


QUESTION: But won't the person asking the question be insulted or
feel "put down" by constant rebuttals that only emphasize Judaism?

ANSWER: Possibly. Remember, though, that almost everyone wants to
believe the logical answers to legitimate questions. When
communication is open and honest, everyone can make informed,
educated decisions. The decision to join a cult or to otherwise
convert isn't made overnight or on the basis of a single answer.

QUESTION: What happens if all these preventive measures are too late,
and the son or daughter joins a cult or church?

ANSWER: The important thing is not to panic, explode, accuse,
say "Kaddish" or otherwise provoke the person into avoidance of you
or of the issue. A calm demeanor, coupled with the open channels of
communication mentioned earlier, will often facilitate the start of
dialogue. Dialogue is the first step we take in attempting to
persuade a person to reconsider his or her new religion or cult.

If parents or other significant family members actively listen,
the "convert" may be more than willing to discuss his or her
motivation and reasoning. Such a discussion with Jews for Judaism's
specially trained counselors and rabbis may allow a point-by-point
discussion of the new faith's merits, which will demonstrate how and
why Judaism presents a better alternative for Jews.


QUESTION: But what if the family recoils in anger and shame? What if
family members "disown" the convert?

ANSWER: If confrontation occurs, dialogue will be difficult or
impossible. Creating an argument will most likely polarize the two
parties, fostering an atmosphere hostile to constructive exchanges of
feelings and beliefs. One must realize that the convert's new beliefs
are as real and "true" to him as one's own are dear to oneself. A
blunt "you're wrong" may be interpreted as intellectually insulting.


QUESTION: What is the proper approach for the family?

ANSWER: Family members should do whatever they can to convince the
individual to consider all sides of the issue and seek external
support services. Just as people consider all options when choosing a
career, a spouse, or where to live, they should at least discuss the
options provided by Judaism as opposed to the cult or any other
religion he or she may have adopted. The individual will have
to "open up" before family members or professionals can begin to
achieve any success.


QUESTION: Does that mean that the family has to tolerate the
trappings and ceremonies of another faith in their home?

ANSWER: No. If, in order to avoid confrontation, the family tolerates
the person's decision to change religion, that person should also
respect the family's wishes. The alien religion should be practiced
in the appropriate place, whether a church, ashram, or the person's
separate apartment. This arrangement also facilitates a more open
atmosphere, more conducive to a willingness on the part of the
individual and his or her family to meet with a trained professional.

It is important to respect each person's right to an honest mistake.
Our goal is to carefully help him or her realize that the decision to
adopt another faith is, both intellectually and emotionally, an
honest mistake. We accomplish that goal in part by showing these
people what Judaism is all about, rather than by merely disproving or
rejecting his or her new philosophy.


QUESTION: What if none of this works? Is that person lost to Judaism
forever?

ANSWER: Absolutely not. Those of us in the field can tell you
hundreds of stories about people who spent years in Christianity or a
cult, only to return to Judaism. That's why it's important to
maintain an open channel of communication and to set a good religious
example. Family will almost always remain family; differences in
belief and faith do not change a lifelong biological and emotional
relationship. One should never stop hoping that the individual will
return.

This common sense advice is brought to you by Jews for Judaism


http://www.jewsforjudaism.com